Should You Leave Your Relationship?

by Angie Woodward, RN
Director of Trinity Teen Solutions

How do you know when it’s time to say goodbye to a relationship? In any intimate relationship especially in a marriage-it’s not a good idea to let a doomed partnership drag on, simply to avoid the pain of a breakup.

Signs of Trouble

There are some warning signs that your relationship is in trouble. If you recognize any of these signals in your own partnership, you may have some work to do to get things back on track.

1. Your life priorities have changed significantly. Major life changes often force people to reconsider what’s important, and this can make a once-healthy partnership lose its bearings. A near-death experience such as a serious accident or illness, being unexpectedly fired from a job, or losing a family member can cause anyone to reevaluate his or her life and decide to make some changes. Everything looks different after such an experience, and some things lose their meaning. When this happens, these new ways of seeing things must be addressed, since it’s unlikely that such changes will just disappear.
2. The arrangement still works, but the passion is missing. Lots of doomed relationships manage to work-for a while. But when neither partner has any genuine enthusiasm for the relationship, it may be in trouble.
3. You no longer trust your partner. After a partner has broken the bond of trust, it can be difficult to get it back. If your partner has had an affair or was irresponsible with a large amount of money, it is understandable that you feel angry and hurt. Over time, these wounds may not heal. Broken trust can cause serious harm to a relationship, and, if it is not healed, the relationship may not recover.
4. Your partner’s lifestyle or values clash with yours. It is difficult to sustain a long-term relationship when you and your partner do not agree on some of life’s most basic things. If you want to make and save a lot of money, but your partner seeks a simple life and would be happy living in a small house with few luxuries, this is a potential problem. If your partner seeks excitement and wants to be around people most of the time but you are basically a loner who prefers solitude, you may find yourselves growing apart. You may have been attracted to each other in the beginning because you brought each other some balance, but, over the long term, the very things that drew you to each other may doom your relationship.

Deciding to end a relationship can have enormous implications. If you are married, have children, own a home, and share finances, leaving your partner can be very complicated and will affect everyone in the family. It is important to make such a decision thoughtfully and for the right reasons.

More Warning Signs

If your partner regularly does one or more of the following things, you have good reason to be concerned.

1. Behaves abusively with your friends and family
2. Betrays your trust
3. Breaks promises
4. Cheats on you
5. Does not challenge you mentally
6. Does not support your goals in life
7. Is extremely jealous without cause
8. Is not financially self-supporting
9. Opposes or ignores your thoughts, feelings, or concerns
10. Physically abuses you
11. Pressures you to have sex when you are not interested
12. Resists your attempts to improve the relationship
13. Shares your secrets with others
14. Tells lies regularly
15. Threatens violence
16. Tries to isolate you from your friends and family
17. Verbally abuses you or puts you down

These behaviors are very serious and potentially dangerous to you. If you are in a relationship with someone who treats you in any of these ways, you should seriously consider seeking the assistance of a mental health professional.

The Impact of Stress

Stress can make it harder to decide what to do. If you are questioning your relationship and have problems with money, are stressed at work, or the kids are acting up, deciding what to do becomes even more difficult. It’s important to take your time and resist the temptation to make a fast decision that may later turn out to be the wrong thing for you.

Tips for Making Good Relationship Decisions

1. Take your time making any important decision such as whether to end an important relationship. Even though you may feel confused and indecisive, it is important to recognize that this situation requires a deliberate and careful decision-making process.
2. Making a relationship decision calls for both instinct and logic. It’s important to trust your gut, but don’t lose track of reason.
3. Look at the issues from different points of view.
4. Consider the immediate and long-term implications of each option (staying or leaving), including the impact of each on other people in your life.
5. Consider the worst- and best-case scenarios, as well as the possibilities in between.
6. Give your relationship every chance to get back on track before you call it quits. Ask yourself if you have really tried everything. If you have, and it still isn’t working, it may be time to move on.

Seeking Advice and Support

Involving a few trusted friends in your decision-making process can help you avoid the tendency to rush into a decision and hurry to get it over with. Consulting others helps you step back from the situation and see it in a broader context. While it is more difficult and time-consuming, getting the advice and support of others can help you reach a better decision about whether to end the relationship. This is true for relationships or any other kind of decision.

You may decide to work with a professional counselor or therapist during this process. This is strongly advised if you are in an abusive relationship. A licensed, experienced professional can help you sort out the issues, help you see things you may not be aware of, and give you feedback on how you are seeing things. Involving an objective outsider can be a smart move because you can feel free to say everything that is on your mind without worrying about offending someone you care about or being judged for your thoughts and feelings.

Finally, if you decide that the relationship should end, minimize the chances for emotional fallout by planning how, where, and when you will deliver the news. When making such an important change in your life, it is better to set aside spontaneity in favor of being slow, deliberate, and certain.

Suggested Reading

Hammond, John, Keeney, Ralph and Raiffa, Howard, Smart Choices: A Practical Guide to Making Better Decisions. Harvard Business School Press, 1998.

Heller, Robert and Hindle, Tim, Essential Manager’s Manual. New York, NY: DK Publishing, 1998.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and director of Trinity Teen Solutions,Inc.  Trinity is a licensed Christian residential treatment center for at risk teen girls and their families.  Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.

Single-Parent Survival Skills

by Angie Woodward, RN
Director of Trinity Teen Solutions

Emotional Overload

Many single parents say they deal with a variety of emotional issues that you might describe as “extra baggage.” Some examples include:

• Self-pity
• Depression
• Guilt
• Anger
• Envy
• Fear
• Severe money problems
• Loneliness and isolation
• Frustration
• Exhaustion

These issues present such a challenge because they undermine your daily functioning and emotional well-being. But they can be managed successfully so that you manage your family in a positive way.

10 Ways to Speed Your Recovery Process

Becoming divorced or widowed and then facing years of single parenting is a shock to anyone who experiences it. You will need to take steps to recover and heal. Here are some suggestions:

1. Some churches, synagogues, counseling centers, and therapists offer free and low-cost divorce recovery workshops and grief support groups. Look for them in the newspaper and Yellow Pages. If you don’t see any listed, call a few places that may be able to refer you.
2. Look for local peer support groups and networks.
3. If you have access to the Internet, search for support services in your area.
4. Also on the Internet, look for chat rooms or bulletin boards where single parents post messages and share ideas.
5. Find library books for kids about divorce and single-parent families, and read them together. Take the time to talk about how they relate to your situation and encourage your kids to talk about their feelings.
6. Find a support group for children of divorce.
7. Tell your children’s teachers and the school psychologist that you are a single-parent family. Let them know that you welcome feedback and suggestions on coping with your circumstances.
8. When you are ready, investigate groups like Parents Without Partners for single adults. You need to be with other adults who have similar interests.
9. Learn to help your kids talk about what is happening to them.
10. Learn conflict resolution and problem-solving skills.

Single-Parent Survival Strategies

In addition to recovering from the loss of a partner, you will need to take action to survive and thrive in the coming years. The following strategies provide a starting place.

1. Watch out for too many changes in your life as you recover from both the loss of your spouse and the resulting changes in your life circumstances. Change causes stress, and you have enough right now.
2. Realize and accept that you must get help with your single-parenting responsibilities. It is unrealistic to think that you can do it alone.
3. Manage your own emotions so you will be able to help your child manage his or her struggle. Learn as much as you can about how children respond to divorce, the death of a parent, or life in a single-parent home. Do not expect your child to respond the same way you do. Take your child’s developmental stage into consideration when responding to his or her behavior.
4. Give your children permission to talk to you about their feelings.
5. Keep appropriate boundaries.
1. Don’t give in to the temptation to let your child take care of you.
2. Let your children be children.
3. Avoid burdening them with your feelings and the facts of the divorce or death of your spouse.
4. Find another adult to be your sounding board.
6. Let people help you.
1. If it is impossible to reciprocate, say so.
2. People know that your life isn’t like it used to be.
3. Don’t let your inability to reciprocate prevent you from accepting what people willingly offer.
7. Let go of your need for perfection. You will have much more stress if you don’t lower your expectations.
8. Even though you are unable to be present as much as in the past, your children still need adult supervision. Look for ways for other adults to look in on your kids when they are home alone, even when they are teenagers.
9. Just because your child appears to be handling his or her emotions well, don’t assume that he or she is okay. Some kids respond to parent loss by becoming overly responsible or by closing down their emotions. They may need to hear, “Tell me how you’re feeling.”
10. While it is important to listen and accept your children’s feelings, it is equally important to set limits on behavior.
11. Cultivate your ability to be flexible and find creative ways to solve problems.
12. Learn to set priorities. Do the most important things first.
13. Trust your gut feelings. Pay attention to your instincts and act on them.
14. Simplify as many things as possible in your life. You cannot afford to keep it complicated.
15. Find an outlet for your anger. If a friend is not available, look for a minister, rabbi, or professional counselor. If money is an issue, look for a therapist who will see you for a low fee.
16. Teach yourself to let go of guilt. You don’t have time for it, and it’s not necessary.
17. Focus on issues you have control over. If something is beyond your control, don’t waste your emotions on it.
18. Create a ritual to mark the change in your circumstances. This could be a funeral for your spouse or a ceremony to acknowledge your divorce.
19. Keep a private journal in which you express your feelings. Be sure to keep it in a private place where your children won’t find it. A journal provides a place to express anger, sadness, loneliness, and fear—all of those feelings you feel every day as a single parent.
20. Remind yourself that recovering from divorce or the death of a spouse will take time. Your recovery will happen on its own schedule, and it will happen. You will get through this intact.
21. Learn to be assertive. You can’t say yes to every request, whether it is from your family members or people in the community who want your time and resources. If you give it all away, you will have nothing left for yourself.
22. Find ways to take care of your body. Get regular checkups and make time to exercise. You need rest now more than ever. Watch your alcohol intake.
23. Find someone who will listen to you. Sometimes you have to ask, for example, “I need a sounding board right now. Can I have 15 minutes of your time?”
24. Rent a sad movie and let yourself cry (when the kids aren’t around). Crying allows you to release the sadness that you are sure to feel.
25. Do at least one fun thing for yourself every week.
26. In your private journal, make a list of all the things you’re afraid of.
27. In your private journal, make a list of all the things you worry about.
28. Get together with other single-parent families. Sharing times with people facing similar issues can make you feel normal.

Please pass this newsletter along to a friend. Or call 555-0987 to request additional copies.

Suggested Reading

R. Alberti and M. Emmons, Your Perfect Right. San Luis Obispo, CA: Impact Publishers, 1970.

Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg and Sidney M. Baker, Your Ten- to Fourteen-Year-Old. New York: Dell Trade Paperbacks, 1988. (This book is part of the Gesell series, which includes Your 
One-Year-Old, Your Two-Year-Old, Your Three-Year-Old, Your Four-Year-Old, Your FiveYear-Old, Your Six-Year-Old, Your Seven-Year-Old, Your Eight-Year-Old, and Your Nine-Year Old.

S. Bower and G. Bower, Asserting Your Self. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley Publishing Co., Inc., 1976.

Linda Foust, The Single Parent’s Almanac. Rocklin, CA: Prima Publishing, 1996.

Gary Richmond, Successful Single Parenting: Going It Alone. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 1990.



Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc.  Trinity is a licensed Christian residential treatment center for at risk teen girls and their families.  Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.

Suicide: Warning Signs and Treatment

by Angie Woodward, RN
Director of Trinity Teen Solutions

It is reported that suicide, the act of deliberately ending one’s own life, is a cause of death for about 30,000 people (including 5,000 between the ages of 15 to 24 years old) each year in the United States. Since many suicides are not reported as such, the actual number is most likely much higher. Suicide goes unreported because of its stigma or because family members find it too painful to confront the truth.

The rate of suicide in this country is about 12 per 100,000 people, making it the ninth leading cause of death in the United States during the years from 1993 to 1995. According to the American Association of Suicidology (which studies suicide and its prevention), there are between eight and 20 attempts at suicide for each death from suicide. This means that there are anywhere from 240,000 to 600,000 suicide attempts each year. This rate jumps to 200 attempts for every completed suicide when young people (ages 15 to 24) are involved.

Other Facts about Suicide

• In the U.S., Nevada has the highest rate of suicide.
• More suicides happen in the spring than at other times of the year.
• The most lethal days of the week are Monday and Friday.
• Rich people and poor people alike kill themselves. Suicide is an equal-opportunity killer, and is chosen by people from every group imaginable. The most common victims are white males aged 65 and older.
• More men than women kill themselves, but women are more likely to attempt suicide.
• 60% of people who commit suicide do so with guns.

Why People Commit Suicide

There are many reasons why people kill themselves, and we seldom know why certain individuals choose this route. The following factors seem to play a role in many suicides, but none of them guarantees that a person will end his or her life. Often it is a combination of factors that seem to interact with a person’s circumstances; the factors are unique for each person. Some of these factors include:

• Clinical depression. This type of depression is much more than just a simple case of the blues; it is severe and debilitating. It may surprise you to know that people who suffer from depression are at the greatest risk for suicide after they have begun treatment and are beginning to feel better. The reason for this is that when a person is severely depressed, they may lack the energy to carry out suicide. When they begin to recover and feel better, their energy begins to return and they may carry it out then.
• Alcoholism and drug abuse are associated with a higher suicide rate because these substances impair judgment. Over half of all adolescent suicides and suicide attempts are associated with alcohol. When a person is under the influence of alcohol, he or she has fewer inhibitions and may also think and act in ways that would never happen when sober. Alcoholism and drug abuse also create additional stresses in the lives of users and may result in depression and a tendency toward desperate behavior.
• Mental illness. People who have certain disorders, such as schizophrenia, have a higher risk of suicide.
• Physical illness, including terminal illness and the illnesses common as people age, is often a factor that contributes to people taking their own lives.
• Feeling hopeless is very common among people who commit suicide. Hopelessness may be part of clinical depression, or it may be the result of an illness or other dire circumstance. When a person feels hopeless, he or she feels trapped, and suicide may seem like the only way out.
• Anger motivates some people to commit suicide. After a long, unhappy relationship and years of building anger, these people see their suicide as a dramatic way to send a message of retribution.
• A sudden loss may precipitate suicide in some people. The shock and grief of an enormous loss-of a person or a job-may drive a person to such an extreme.
• Experiencing a scandal or extreme embarrassment leads some people to feel so trapped in their situation that they can think of no other way out.

Suicide Warning Signs

One expert says that eight out of 10 people who kill themselves have given clear warnings that they were considering suicide. While these warning signs can be evident for almost anyone at some point in their life, it is important to be aware of them and take them seriously when you see them.

• Making a threat of suicide, e.g., “I wish I were dead,” “I’m going to end it.”
• Expressing hopelessness
• Expressing helplessness
• Expressing worthlessness
• Talking about death
• Having previous suicide attempts
• Seeming depressed, moody, or angry
• Having trouble at school or at work
• Abusing alcohol or drugs
• Taking risks
• Withdrawing from other people
• Behaving differently or oddly
• Sleep difficulties
• Loss of appetite
• Giving away prized possessions.
• Suddenly seeming happy after exhibiting several of the behaviors listed above.

Treatment

The treatment for a suicidal person varies, depending on severity and the underlying cause. Treatment can range from immediate hospitalization to weekly psychotherapy with a licensed mental health professional. It may also include antidepressant medication or treatment for drug or alcohol addiction.

What to Do if Someone Is Suicidal

Take action immediately. Depending on the urgency of the situation, call your doctor, hospital, mental health center, suicide hotline, or police emergency number (911).

Suggested Reading

Eric Marcus, Why Suicide?: Answers to 200 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Suicide, Attempted Suicide, and Assisted Suicide. San Francisco, CA: HarperSanFrancisco, 1996.

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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and director of Trinity Teen Solutions,Inc.  Trinity is a licensed Christian residential treatment center for at risk teen girls and their families.  Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation.

Recovering From Sexual Assault

Sexual assault occurs when one person forces any unwanted sexual contact onto another person. It can involve a stranger, friend, partner, or acquaintance. It can involve any type of unwanted sexual behavior.

Being sexually assaulted involves both physical and psychological assault. Assault victims experience a range of emotions that include fear, shame, anger, and depression.

Most sexual assault victims are women, and most perpetrators are men. However, a significant number of males also are sexually assaulted. For the sake of simplicity, I will refer to the victims in this article as females.

Stages of Sexual Assault Recovery for Teen Girls

Sexual assault victims usually have emotional and physical reactions that fall into three stages. These can be described as shock, adjustment, and resolution.

Shock usually lasts from a few hours to several weeks. The victim experiences shock, disbelief, fear, and anger. She may have phobic reactions to the place where the sexual assault occurred. She may also have flashbacks, an immediate sense of reliving the sexual assault, and trouble sleeping.
Adjustment comes next. During this temporary stage, the victim begins to feel like her life is returning to normal and tries to regain some sense of control. She may deny the impact of the assault.

Resolution is the time when healing occurs. It is often an uncomfortable period for the victim. She may have many of the same feelings that she experienced immediately following the assault, but now she is closer to being ready to resolve them. She may feel depressed, experience mood swings, feel cut off from others, or need to isolate herself. During this stage of recovery, many victims seek the services of a professional counselor.

Common Responses to Sexual Assault For Teen Girls

Most sexual assault victims report some of the following physical and emotional symptoms:

• Apathy
• Difficulty concentrating
• Eating disorders
• Feeling nervous or jumpy
• Feelings of depression, sadness, and hopelessness
• Guilt
• Headaches
• Hypervigilance
• Inability to express emotions
• Inability to trust others
• Insomnia
• Irritability and anger
• Isolation
• Less interest in activities
• Less interest in sex
• Loss of self-esteem
• Nausea and vomiting
• Nightmares and flashbacks
• Panic attacks
• Physical pain
• Poor appetite
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (chronic anxiety, depression, and flashbacks)
• Self-mutilation
• Shame and embarrassment
• Shock and denial
• Substance abuse
• Thoughts of suicide and death

Recovery Steps For The Sexually Abused Teen Girls

Crisis intervention is an important first step. The first few days after an assault can be especially turbulent, and victims need the unique skills of counselors who are trained to respond to crises.
Individual counseling is highly recommended. Any person who has been sexually assaulted will benefit from individual counseling sessions with a caring, experienced, mental health professional.

Group therapy for sexual assault victims is an excellent way for victims to talk about their experiences with others in a supportive and nonjudgmental atmosphere.
Couples counseling can help the victim and her partner to explore their feelings, talk about how the assault is impacting their relationship, and learn coping skills.

Recovery Prognosis For Sexually Assaulted Young Women

Since every person and situation is different, victims of sexual assault respond to an assault in different ways. Many factors can influence an individual’s recovery from sexual assault. Some examples include the following:

• The circumstances surrounding the assault
• The severity of the assault
• The victim’s relationship to the perpetrator
• How police and medical workers respond to the assault
• The victim’s age and maturity level
• How the victim views the attack and what meaning she gives it
• The victim’s support system
• The quality of the response of the victim’s family and friends
• Community attitudes toward sexual assault

Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc Treatment for Sexually Assaulted Teen Girls

Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc utilizes many therapeutic approaches for struggling teen girls on top of  Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), which is the most effective treatment for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute Stress Disorder.

EMDR is a psychotherapy that enables the struggling teen girl to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.  Repeated studies show that by using EMDR wounded young women can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal.  EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma.  When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound.  If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain.  Once the block is removed, healing resumes.  EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes.  The brain’s information processing system naturally moves toward mental health.  If the system is blocked or imbalanced by the impact of a disturbing event, the emotional wound festers and can causes intense suffering.  Once the block is removed, healing resumes.  Using the detailed protocols and procedures learned in EMDR training sessions, clinicians help clients activate their natural healing processes.

For more on EMDR go to the EMDR Institute, Inc web page.

Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and director of Trinity Teen Solutions,Inc.  Trinity is a licensed Christian residential treatment center for at risk teen girls and their families.  Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation or contact us.

Reuniting God with Sex: Teaching Teenage Girls the Value of their Bodies

Of all the issues we deal with at Trinity Teen Solutions (TTS), sexual promiscuity tops the list. Most of the teenage girls we counsel are victims of sexual abuse, a crime that tends to lend itself to a lifestyle of sexual deviance. None of this is their fault, but it’s only made worse by society and modern media.

Let’s take a look at some of the problems they face:

Pornography

Merely thirty years ago, one had to pay a visit to the local video store to purchase pornographic videos. Not so, today. Thanks to technology, porn is merely a mouse click away, and it’s often for free.

Pornography desensitizes the mind’s view of sex. It becomes a casual affair of pleasure, rather than an intimate act of love and (eventually) the creation of life. When this happens, you devalue the bond between yourself and your spouse, sacred in nature. You cheapen act which created your children, and you pave the path towards your family’s destruction.

Modern Media

Photo Credit: whologwhy

Not long ago, one needn’t worry about finding trash on the television set. Wholesome programs were the norm, as society wouldn’t have accepted anything less. To say times have changed would be an understatement.

Turn on the tube, and you’ll be amazed at what you see. While the list of suggestive television is too vast to list, it’s there. So-called “family programs” target the impressionable minds of adolescents with images of barely-dressed females, teen pregnancies, sex before marriage, and more.

Divorce

The divorce rate in America is roughly fifty percent, and while the circumstances leading to divorce vary, one can’t help but blame the social and cultural shifts for such a statistic. If the family unit is to survive, we must wake up to this reality.

While the parents sort out their “irreconcilable differences,” it is the children who suffer most. Many are forced to deal with child abuse or poverty, and some grow up to adopt a life of crime. Impaired social skills, psychiatric problems, and behavioral difficulties are also most commonly exhibited in children of divorced parents.

God and Sex

Society tends to separate God and sex – one is holy, the other is a sin. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If anything, society has made sex unholy. Within the bounds of a respectful, loving marriage, sex is a gift from God, and our patients come to realize this.

God imprinted His very image into our bodies – male and female. The one was made for the other, crafted by the Divine Artist. Once sex is seen in this light of truth, it’s impossible to regard it without the dignity it deserves.

As the Creator of life, God is referred to as “Father,” but He is both masculine and feminine. And when a man and woman come together in sexual intimacy, they (in a sense) recreate God in His wholeness. The ultimate result of sex (the creation of a family) mimics God’s creation of all humanity.

How Trinity Teen Solutions Can Help

Each person is unique and precious, and at TTS, our goal is to make each of our patients realize this truth.  We utilize individual and group therapy to delve into each girls’ core issues, and we do so from a Christian standpoint.

Unraveling the damage done not only by sexual perpetrators, but also by today’s day and age, can be challenging, but nothing is impossible with God. Given the right tools and perspective on their bodies and sex, our girls graduate from the TTS program with more than enough self-respect to tackle this moral-less society.

If your daughter is struggling with the issues mentioned here, please feel free to contact us to see if we can help her get back on track.

Advice for Parents Struggling to Teach Christian Faith

On the Wrong Path

Raising a rebellious teenage daughter is difficult enough. What’s worse is when she’s abandoned God, her Christian faith, and every principle you’ve strived to teach her. Of all the reasons parents contact us at Trinity Teen Solutions (TTS), this tops the list.

Photo Credit: Ken_Mayer

At TTS, we come face-to-face with the evils of this world: rape, molestation, parental abandonment…you name it. We see how this evil spreads into the lives of otherwise happy and healthy young women. We hear from parents of every demographic how this evil has ripped their families apart. It’s these same parents who’ve tried confronting this evil with God’s goodness, only to fail.

Don’t Lose Your Faith

If this sounds like you, please don’t lose faith. You haven’t done anything wrong, and your heart is in the right place. You just need a little help, and that’s what this article aims to do.

More often than not, we hear from our teenage girls about “uber-Catholics,” or parents who try incessantly to shove religion down their daughters’ throats. While these parents’ intentions are good, they’re also fruitless–and for good reason. You can’t pound spirituality into your teen daughter; you simply have to live it, and hope that (through free will) she will choose the right path.

Religion is usually the last thing on their minds

Many parents work vigilantly to force religion upon their daughters, only to grow discouraged when their efforts fail. What these parents don’t realize is that beneath the surface of their daughters’ behavior are core issues, many of which stem from abuse, grief, or some other emotional trauma. Desperate for some form of quick comfort, these young women turn to anything which promises an escape from their realities – drinking, drugs, toxic friends. Once there, all they need is to get attached to one bad influence and all your virtuous teaching goes out the window.

Trying to Fill the Void in Their Soul

Regardless of whether or not a person has had an abusive past, every human being feels a certain void within their soul. At TTS, we know (and teach) that this void is the result of Original Sin, when mankind permanently separated itself from the love of God. We’re now desperately searching for something – anything – to fill the emptiness inside, but it’s only by forming a relationship with Him that we can hope to find lasting happiness. Without this understanding, not only is it easy to fall prey to the world’s empty promises, it’s also inevitable.

Uncovering Deep Issues to Bring Back Christian Faith

At TTS, we gently thread the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church into a comprehensive rehabilitation program. We probe beneath the surface of your daughters’ problems to uncover their core issues, how these issues have affected their lives, and how they can change their lives for the better. We examine the practice of reason on our free will, both of which are given to us by God, and exercise a better and more productive use of both.

If you’re a parent concerned not only about your daughter’s lifestyle choices, but also her faith, please contact us at Trinity Teen Solutions at 307.645.3384. Our professional and caring staff of counselors will help your daughter understand her struggle, as well as the fact that God also understands.

In the words of Saint Thomas Aquinas, “Love takes up where knowledge leaves off.”

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Is your daughter a troubled teen in need of help? Complete our free Troubled Teen Assessment to find out.

Losing Faith: When Your Daughter Turns Her Back on God

Dear Angie,

I was searching online for Christian counseling centers that cater towards teenage girls, and I was lucky enough to run across Trinity Teen Solutions’ Web site.

My husband abandoned my daughter and me several years ago; she was only three years old at the time. Since then, I’ve worked very hard to raise her in the Catholic faith, but lately she’s gone astray and has turned her back on God. It seems with each passing year, she grows more rebellious and distant from me and the Church, and has simply lost her faith in Catholicism.

I don’t approve of the crowd she associates with, and I’ve seen her with more than one boy who doesn’t give her the respect she deserves. She’s out at all hours of the night, and I’ve even found empty beer bottles in her closet. On Sundays, I plead with her to go to Mass with me, and she responds by saying, “No! I hate God!”

What am I doing wrong? How can I fix this? As a child, I relished growing up in the Church, and I just want to give her the same foundation. Please help me.

Losing Faith in Louisville, KY

Dear Losing Faith,

First things first, please don’t lose faith in your daughter or God. To quote Saint Augustine, “God judged it better to bring good out of evil, than to suffer no evil to exist.” That is, to say, no matter how bad things are with your daughter right now, God can use it to transform her.

Believe it or not, your story is more common than you think. Most of the parents who contact us do so because their daughters are on the wrong path, and they’ve turned their backs on God. It seems abandoning God and leading a reckless lifestyle go hand in hand, for once you ignore Him, it’s easier to turn your conscience off.

Judging from your letter, the absence of your husband in your daughter’s life has had the biggest impact on her. At Trinity Teen Solutions, we counsel young women dealing with a variety of issues ranging from abandonment to sexual assault, and we do so from a Christian standpoint. We don’t jump straight into God with these girls, however. Rather, we utilize both individual and group therapy sessions until they discover for themselves what their core issues are. From there, we take a look at these discoveries and consider God’s place in them.

While we accept all religious denominations, our primary tools are the teachings of the Roman Catholic faith. We participate in daily mass and Liturgy of the Hours, study the saints and their teachings, and work to exercise the virtues of the Holy Spirit in our everyday lives. Woven throughout all of this is an intensive and professional rehabilitation program with nine years of proven success.

I strongly encourage you to look into Trinity Teen Solutions and what we have to offer. Once again, please don’t lose faith. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers.

God bless,

Angie
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Angie Woodward is a Registered Nurse in Wyoming and is the founder and owner/director of Trinity Teen Solutions, Inc. TTS is a licensed Christian Residential Treatment center for troubled teen girls, young adult women, and their families. Call 307-645-3384 for a free consultation